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Hello and welcome to another episode of The Mom-entum Podcast, the show dedicated to inspiring, uplifting and empowering women on their journey through motherhood.  I’m your host, Tanya Valentine, and whether you are a first time or long time listener, I am so grateful you are here listening today.  I really am, and I hope that comes through here.  It’s like I always say, I believe time is our most valuable asset, so the fact that you are taking the time to listen right now, I don’t take that lightly, that’s a big deal.  And I not only appreciate you, but I respect and honor you.  Because it’s my assumption that the reason you are listening today is that you want to improve.  And I believe you and I are kindred spirits in this way because I am always looking to improve as well. And let me be clear, I am not saying that you are not enough as you are.  You are enough, you are worthy, of course you are.  But life is about constant, never-ending improvement.  It’s about growing, as Tony Robbins says, if you’re not growing you’re dying.  And if we don’t intentionally seek improvement, life is going to present us with challenges that will force us to evolve.  Let’s face it, life is going to do that either way, but at least if you are always working on yourself, and doing things to improve like learning or physically training, you at least will be more prepared for life’s challenges that will inevitably come your way.

So speaking of time, that is the topic of today’s conversation.  If you listened last week, you know that I introduced this mindset shift, “you are not bad at time management, you just havent been taught the right way.”  I spoke about how most time management advice out there really is not designed for the unpredictability of motherhood.  Most time management advice is given under the assumption that you have an extended period of uninterrupted time to work with, which as Moms, we do not.  And that’s why most women get so overwhelmed when they become a mom because we have to learn to get things done and adjust our plans in response to multiple interruptions and disruptions.  I’ve learned in my 7+ years as a mom, that motherhood, and parenthood for that matter, is all about learning to be flexible.  And that’s why I created the 5-minute Reset for moms, its a flexible structure, if you will, designed to help you focus on 3 priorities per day, so that you can focus on what matters most, feel a sense of completion and achievement at the end of the day, and so that when you are with your kids, your attention is on them and not on the running to do list.  

We have to remember what is the outcome we want ladies.  At the end of our lives, are we going to regret not ever finishing our to do list? Or not giving our kids the full attention during this fleeting time we have them?  My guess is the latter. 

And let me just be clear, managing our time effectively,it’s not about getting more done, it’s about deciding consciously and intentionally how we use our time, instead of getting stuck in these patterns of just checking off to dos and putting out fires.  It’s about designing your life by deciding in advance what is important to you, the results you want, and how you want to use your time so that years don’t go by and then you look back and wonder where the time went.  Time becomes a blur, we get so focused on the day to day, getting things done and dealing with things as they come up.  

And let me be clear, I am not trying to make anyone feel guilty, this is about preventing guilt.  Listen, there are things that I wish I did with my kids when they were little, I mean they are still little, they are just 7,5, and 2.  But ya know, we can’t be perfect.  But as much as possible, can we take the time to just think about and reflect on our lives and decide on purpose what we want and how then we use our time to make sure we are spending it on the things that matter.

OK so the topic of today, TIME SCARCITY.  Are you among the many that are living this mindset?  First off what do I mean when I say time scarcity.

Time scarcity is the feeling that there isn’t enough time to accomplish everything you need or want to do. It often leads to stress, overwhelm, and a sense of constantly being behind. For moms, time scarcity can show up when trying to juggle parenting, household responsibilities, work, and personal time, leaving little room for rest or self-care.

This mindset can also make it feel like there’s no flexibility or space for unexpected things, which can increase feelings of frustration or guilt. Overcoming time scarcity involves shifting perspective, setting priorities, and creating realistic, flexible systems that help manage tasks without feeling constantly rushed.

So step 1 is to shift your perspective.  What are you thinking or believing that is leading to this feeling of time scarcity?  It’s probably something like, “there is never enough time to get everything done”, or “I don’t have time for that”, “I don’t have time for the things that I want to do”, it can even be things like “I have to do everything myself” or “I should be able to do it all” or “I’m falling behind compared to other moms”.  Whatever you are thinking, or maybe saying out loud that are leading to these feelings of not having enough time, get it out there in the open.  And the next step is to challenge these beliefs.

Let’s start with the belief that there is never enough time to get everything done.  Is that true?  Maybe.  It depends on how you define everything.  You see, our minds are so dramatic and it makes things so extreme.  Like everything.  What does that even mean?  Let’s just start there, actually.  What is everything you think you need to do?  Write yourself a list right now of all the things that you think need to get done.  And once everything is written down, have a look at that list and ask yourself, of these things, what really has to get done?  I can promise you there are only really a handful of things that are a must.  Things like, you need to make sure you are meeting your basic needs as well as the needs of your children.  Things like your health and safety.    So things that involve eating, drinking, clean clothes, shelter.  OK.  Are we doing what we need to do to be able to pay our bills?  Like those things are priority.  Now does what you eat have to be a perfectly healthy meal that everyone in your family will enjoy? No.  Odds are your kids, if they are anything like mine, they have a limited palate.  

And do the clothes really need to be folded perfectly and arranged like a display at Target, or is it enough that they’re clean and ready to wear?

Listen, If you are struggling right now to get caught up and you are feeling so overwhelmed,  im telling you, focus on your basics and get fancy later.  Simplify, simplify, simplify.  And gradually you can start to add little improvements over time.  But if you are in this season of your life where you feel like you are just trying to survive, I’ve been there.  Let yourself off the hook.  Give yourself grace.  Remind yourself that this is a season.  Tell yourself that you have plenty of time for the things that matter.  Can you believe that?  And how does that feel when you think that?  Do you feel a little more relaxed, more open more calm.  And just think how do these feelings then influence your actions?  For example, how do you respond to your child when he or she has just spilled his food all over the floor?  When you are feeling calm my guess is that you respond much nicer and in a way that your higher self really wants to vs. how you would respond if you were feeling frustrated or rushed.

Now let’s take on the belief that you should be able to do it all.  Is that true?  Says who?  Who said you had to do it all?  Listen, anyone who has done great things has never done it alone.  We all need support.

Imagine a mom trying to juggle everything—work, parenting, cooking, cleaning, and keeping up with endless to-do lists. She believes, “I should be able to do it all,” so she keeps pushing through exhaustion, refusing help, and feeling guilty when things slip through the cracks.

One day, her child gets sick, the laundry piles up, and dinner burns on the stove because she’s answering work emails. Overwhelmed, she breaks down. A friend notices and offers to drop off a meal, and her partner steps in to handle bedtime. Suddenly, there’s a shift. The weight feels lighter. The house isn’t perfect, but everyone is cared for.

It’s in that moment she realizes: doing it all alone isn’t strength—it’s unnecessary pressure. True strength is knowing when to ask for help and accepting support. Just like a team sport, life works better when we lean on others. Even star athletes have coaches, teammates, and trainers—they don’t win alone.

This story shows that needing help isn’t weakness; it’s part of being human. And letting others in can create more connection, ease, and joy.

Alright, mama, let’s wrap this up.

If there’s one thing I hope you take away from today, it’s this: You don’t have to do it all, and you certainly don’t have to do it all perfectly. The belief that there’s never enough time, or that you have to handle everything on your own, is just that—a belief. And beliefs can be challenged and changed. Sometimes, it’s as simple as shifting our perspective, simplifying what truly matters, and accepting that “good enough” is more than enough in this season.

And if you’re ready to take a step toward feeling more calm, focused, and in control of your day, don’t forget to grab my free 5-Minute Reset at Tanyavalentinecoaching.com/reset. It’s a simple, flexible tool designed to help you feel a sense of completion and prioritize what matters most—without the overwhelm.

If this episode spoke to you, it would mean the world if you could leave a rating or review and subscribe. It’s a small action that makes a huge difference in helping this show reach more moms who need support. And hey, if you know someone who’s feeling stretched thin and could use a little encouragement, share this episode with them too. Sometimes, the best way to lighten the load is just knowing we’re not carrying it alone.

Thanks for spending your valuable time with me today. Remember, you’re doing better than you think. I’ll talk to you next week! Bye!