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Hello and welcome to another episode of The Mom-entum Podcast.  The show dedicated to inspiring, uplifting, and empowering women on their journey through motherhood.  My name is Tanya Valentine, and I will be your host today.  Thank you so much for taking the time to listen!  

 

And Happy New Year everyone.  At the time of this podcast airing it will be January 1, 2025.  It is hard to believe that we are at that number, 2025. 

 

 It’s funny because I’ll often joke with my daughter about what life was like in “the 1900s”.  And it’s just kind of funny because I was born in 1985, and you hear the 1900s and it seems like ya know back in the day, before there were cars, and you’d have to walk 5 miles in 3 feet of snow to get to school.  But obviously, that was not the case 39 years ago.  However, yes almost half of my life was in the 1900s.  The 80s and the 90s were technically in the 1900s.  And there has been so much change that has happened in my lifetime, it's astonishing.  Because when I was in grade school, there were no cell phones.  We had computer classes, and these computers were massive. I remember the black screens with green colored font, and the floppy discs that you’d have to insert if you wanted to play a game.  

 

And I can remember in fourth grade we were tasked with the assignment of inventing something.  I don’t remember the details of this assignment exactly, but what I do remember is that my friend, Ashley, and I invented this phone that could essentially teleport.  So, being that we were 10 years old, naturally the thing we had the idea of teleporting was candy, specifically sour patch kids.  And I can remember us making these phones and then connecting them with a sort of tube that we would drop the sour patch kid into to go to the person on the other end.  And while, yes, teleporting has not yet become a reality, I am so fascinated when I think about this technology boom that has manifested throughout my lifetime.  It really is amazing.  And crazy to think we are now in 2025.

 

So anyway.  Happy New Year to all! I hope you all enjoyed your holidays, and had a healthy and safe New Years Eve.  Some of you might be feeling a little tired today, maybe even a little hungover, and that’s ok.  Take a deep breath.  Today is a new day.  Today is the first day of a new year.  Does that feel good to you?  Like a clean slate, right?

 

And have you thought about what you want to do with that clean slate?  Have you thought about what you want this year to look like? 

 

 Maybe the whole idea of New Years resolutions are overwhelming to you.  Or maybe, like many, you have not had a good experience with setting goals or new years resolutions, because when “life gets in the way” or for whatever reason you are not able to fulfill your goals, then you beat yourself up on the other end of it and you talk down to yourself saying things like, “see this is why I don’t set goals.  My life is too hard.  Everyone else has it so much easier than me.  There’s something wrong with me, nothing ever works out for me, I don’t know why I even bother, it’s such a waste of time and energy”.  And then, as a result of all of this negative talk and blaming and shaming, then you don’t set goals because you fear the backlash you are going to give yourself on the other end of it when things don’t work out.  And essentially you lose all belief in yourself and then you not achieving your New Years resolution just becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.  

 

AND, of course, the one way to guarantee you don’t achieve your goal or goals, is by not even trying.  And then you are just failing ahead of time.  But at least then you save yourself from the self-beratement, or possibly being perceived as a failure by others.  But there's no growth in that.  You haven’t learned anything.  You haven’t made any forward movement. AND you cannot escape yourself.  Because, you see, your soul knows.  Your soul knows there is something inside of you just itching to come out.  And you know deep down when you are playing small. And maybe you are not consciously aware of it, but if you aren’t stretching yourself, trying new things, putting yourself in harms way (and by putting yourself in harms way I mean doing hard things that make you uncomfortable, but you know in the long run are good for you, like for example, exercise).  And, If you are not doing these things, you are not growing.  And as Tony Robbins says, “If you’re not growing, you’re dying.”

 

So I don’t say any of this to overwhelm you.  Maybe you have some trauma around New years resolutions or goal setting.  But if you do, then this is the show for you.  If you are someone who has just given up on goal setting, I hear you, I feel you, I get you, because I have experienced this myself.  That feeling of defeat, like why even bother, nothing ever works out, I always seem to go back to my old ways anyway.  I get it, and I’ve done this.  But do you just want to accept this for yourself?  I don’t!  I know that setting goals gives us direction and clarity in our lives.  It can give us something positive to focus on when the world around us seems to be falling apart.  Goals are a way that we can take control over our lives and go from feeling like we are at the effect of the circumstances in our lives to now being a conscious creator of our world.  

 

You have got this, you really do, and so do I. So together, let's take this month to take charge, let's take responsibility for our thoughts, our feelings, our actions, and what we create for ourselves.  And let's start by removing what can be the biggest obstacle in our way, overwhelm.

 

Let’s not make change be this big, overwhelming task.  Then our head spins and we don’t know where to start, we get confused, and so we don’t start.

 

So how do we eliminate the overwhelm?  I think to start, we need to break things down so that it is simple and easy to follow.

 

So to start.  When I ask you the question what do you want to accomplish this year?  Maybe we break it down to what do you want to accomplish this month? And suddenly that list of all the things that you want to do or accomplish this year gets a little smaller.  

 

I actually want you to focus on 1 thing, just one thing.  And I don’t want you to even worry about what would be the most important or what would have the most impact.  Because this might cause you to overthink and then you will procrastinate.  Like, literally just pick one thing.  

For many of us, decision making can slow us down or stop us in our tracks.  We worry too much about making the “right” decision, and making decisions costs energy, it can be draining.  I’m sure you’ve all heard about decision fatigue.   Decision fatigue is the mental and emotional strain caused by making too many decisions in a short period of time. As we make more decisions throughout the day, our ability to make well-thought-out choices diminishes, leading to poorer judgment, impulsivity, or decision avoidance. This happens because decision-making consumes cognitive energy, and as that energy depletes, our brain struggles to process information effectively.

 

Here’s a simple hack to make this decision easier. I recommend doing it first thing in the morning, when your mind is fresh, and you haven’t yet used up your decision-making energy for the day.

 

  Get yourself 5 small pieces of paper, a pencil and a hat or a bowl.  Now on each piece of paper write down a goal.  Something you want to do or achieve by the end of the month.  Maybe one thing is to lose 5 pounds.  The other thing is Organize your closet.  The other thing is to potty train your daughter.  Or maybe its to establish a regular, consistent morning and nighttime routine that fills your cup. Maybe its a financial goal.  Either way, write down 5 things, don’t overthink this, then fold each piece of paper and throw it in the bowl or hat. Now shake the hat and pick out one of the pieces of paper, and there's your goal of the month to focus on.  Now if you can only think of 2 things, just use 2 pieces of paper and pick from the hat.  Or if you already know the one thing that you want to focus on, great, then skip this step altogether and jump right into the next step which is to write it down.

 

Make it a smart goal which stands for specific, measurable, actionable, relevant (meaning that the goal should be meaningful and align with your overall objectives or priorities, essentially making sure the goal matters to you) and most importantly it needs to be TIME BOUND.  I heard Cody Sanchez say this in one of her talks and I thought it was so profound and true that I had to stop immediately and write it in my notes app.  She shared that essentially when she was trying to squeeze more into her days but struggling to find the time to do all the things her mentor made this life-changing statement , “you don’t need more time, you need a deadline.” 

 

And I think we can all remember a time when we were in school and were given 2 weeks or maybe even a month to complete a paper, but when did we start and finish that paper? Often it was the night before right?  So is it that it takes 2 weeks to write the paper? No, we just completed it in one night!  And would we have completed it if not for the deadline? Probably not! If we don't have a deadline, we are just gonna keep putting it off until it becomes so painful that we back ourselves into a corner and it becomes a must, we absolutely have to do it.  Often thats what it takes. So give yourself a deadline, and that will just make it more likely that you will achieve this goal.

 

So for example say I have a New Years resolution to be more organized.  Well that’s not really specific, it’s pretty vague, and when we are vague like this we don’t really have a clear mental picture of what this looks like and then it can be confusing what our next steps are.  So turning that into a smart goal would help to guide us toward our next steps and it would look something like this:

 

By February 1, 2025, I will have the pantry decluttered and organized in a way that is both visually appealing and makes it easier to find and access items.

 

So let’s break down how and why this fits the S.M.A.R.T criteria:

 

• The goal is SPECIFIC because it clearly states what needs to be done—decluttering and organizing the pantry. And It specifies how—making it visually appealing and easier to find and access items.

• Next, the goal is measurable because success can be measured by evaluating if the pantry is both visually appealing and functional.

• It’s also clear whether the task is completed or not by the deadline.

Then is it Achievable?

• Decluttering and organizing a pantry is realistic within the given timeframe of 1 month.

• The goal is relevant because it ties directly to my New Year’s resolution of becoming more organized, making it highly relevant to my broader objectives.

And lastly the goal is Time-bound:

• There’s a clear deadline—February 1, 2025—which creates a sense of urgency and keeps me accountable.

By aligning with each of the SMART goal criteria, this goal sets me up for success and ensures clarity and focus.

Ok, so now that we have our smart goal written down, let’s break it down even further.  What is something easy that I can do every day or every week that will make my achieving this goal inevitable?  For example, maybe I decide that I am going to dedicate 10 minutes a day towards working on a small section of the pantry.  And so I set a timer for 10 minutes and then I start in one corner of the pantry.  And in that corner I take a small group of items out of the pantry, I go through them, I get rid of things that are old, expired. I wipe down the shelf before I return the items I decided to keep.  Maybe I spend 10 minutes a different day taking inventory and writing down the categories of items I have in the pantry.  Then maybe 10 minutes another day taking a look at the categories of items I have and deciding how I want to reorganize them in a way that would be both visually appealing and functional.

 

So what will this look like for you once you have your SMART goal written out?  Answer this question for yourself:  What is something easy that I can do every day or every week that will make achieving this goal inevitable? 

 

Now make sure you write this down, make a list.  In my experience, writing it down greatly increases the likelihood of you achieving your goal.

 

So maybe your goal is losing 5 lbs by the end of the month.  Your to do list could look like this: I will weigh myself every day so that I can measure my progress and keep myself accountable.  I will fast for at least 12 hours/day.  I will not eat after 6pm. I will do cardio workouts for 30 minutes on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and strength training for 30 minutes on Tuesday and Thursday.  I will eliminate ultra processed foods from my diet.

 

Now of these list of to dos, take anything that would require time to execute (for instance the 30 minutes of exercise), and schedule it on the calendar.  If it’s on the calendar, it’s as good as done.  It really does increase your likelihood of following through when it is scheduled on your calendar because 1,it gets this thing out of your head and onto paper or onto your scheduling app, freeing up space in your mind to be able to make better decisions.  And 2, when it’s out there and it’s something that you are able to look at and see every day, probably even numerous times a day, it serves as this constant visual reminder of what it is that you are supposed to be doing, what it is that you are working towards.

 

So the next step in this is to look at your calendar frequently throughout the day, or at least twice a day like before you go to bed at night and first thing in the morning when you get up.  You will see this reminder of what it is that you are supposed to be doing, this list of action items, steps that, once followed, will inevitably lead you to your goal. And then all there is left to do is follow through.

 

At the end of each week you could schedule 5 minutes to evaluate how your week went.  What worked, what didn’t.  Is there anything that you need to tweak in order to make it easier on yourself to follow through.  For example, say if one of your action items for losing 5 lbs is not to eat after 6 pm but 3 nights last week you didn’t have dinner ready until after 6 so then you were eating until 7. What can you do to make it easier on yourself to make a hard stop at 6pm? Is it possible for you to start making dinner earlier? Can you start meal prepping to simplify and lessen the time it takes to make dinner? Maybe on Sunday you meal prep for Monday-Wednesday and on Wednesday you meal prep for Thursday thru Saturday and that sort of breaks the week up so it’s not as big or overwhelming of a task to meal prep for the whole week and yet it’ll save you time so that you can have dinner prepared earlier and then you eat earlier? 

 

Can you simplify the meals your making, plan meals that you can throw together in 15 minutes or less?  Can you get take out a couple of nights a week. Or sign up for a meal planning service like hello fresh to make things easier?

 

…maybe you need to adjust your goal altogether. If your schedule simply doesn’t allow for eating by 6 p.m., you could shift your fasting window to a later time or focus on a different behavior that aligns better with your current lifestyle. Goals should stretch you, but they should also fit into the reality of your life—not create unnecessary stress.

 The possibilities are endless, really. But if we don’t take the time to sit down and think about what’s not working and why, then we can end up prematurely throwing in the towel on our goals because we think this just isn’t going to work for us. But if we take some time to contemplate what is getting in the way, why am I not following through on this thing, then we allow ourselves the time to brainstorm and come up with solutions to the obstacles in the way.

The most important thing to remember is that progress is better than perfection. Every small step you take toward your goal matters. You might stumble, and that’s okay. Give yourself grace, adjust as needed, and keep moving forward.

As we step into this new year, I want you to remember this: You don’t need to do it all at once. Focus on one thing at a time, make it clear, make it actionable, and make it achievable. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and don’t let the fear of imperfection stop you from trying. Growth doesn’t happen in giant leaps; it happens in the small, consistent steps you take every day.

So, what’s your one thing this month? Write it down, make it a SMART goal, and take that first small step today. This year is your blank slate, and you have everything you need to create something incredible.

Before we wrap up, I’d love to hear from you! What are your New Year’s resolutions? Share them with me on social media and tag me—because when you announce your goals, you’re way more likely to stick with them and succeed. Let’s cheer each other on!

Also, if you’ve been enjoying The Mom-entum Podcast, it would mean the world to me if you could share it with a friend who you think would benefit from it. And if you haven’t already, please leave a quick rating and review. It’s one of the best ways to help this show grow and reach even more moms who need encouragement.

Thank you so much for tuning in today. Your time is so precious, and I’m honored you chose to spend it here with me. I hope you know how much I appreciate you. My goal is to help improve your life and remind you that you are worthy, you matter, and you’re doing better than you think.