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Hello and welcome to another episode of the Mom-entum Podcast!  The show dedicated to inspiring, uplifting and empowering women on their journey through motherhood, I’m your host, Tanya Valentine, and I’m so happy you tuned in today!

 

How is everyone doing today?  At the time I am recording this podcast it is the very last day of July and whenever the month of July ends I always seem to get a little sad because to me it is the end of my most favorite month of the year.  Because July is always so hot and I absolutely love the hot weather.  And July also symbolizes summer to me, and this is just my absolute favorite season of the year.  Seriously, I wait all year for summer to come.  And you would think that maybe I would relocate somewhere else where the weather is like this all of the time.  But I haven’t, yet anyways. 

 

AND my daughter will be going back to school in exactly 2 weeks from today. And depending on where you are living maybe your kids are getting ready to go back to school as well.  And I’m wondering, how are you feeling about that?

 

I know some of you probably can’t wait for your kids to get back to school so that you can get a break. So that you can get back into a routine again.  And I get that.  But, for me, for the most part I get kind of sad about my daughter going back to school because I realize, ya know, we only get like 18 summers with our kids if we are lucky.  And I’m anticipating this summer coming to an end, and then that’s one summer less I get with my kids before they're out living their own lives. 

 

 It just makes me want to soak up and savor the rest of the time I have with them, and try my best to really enjoy it and be intentional about it.  Like taking the time to sit in silence and think about what do I want our summers to look like?  What are the types of experiences I want to create for my family?  And knowing that I can create that for us if I can just take the time to schedule and plan it.  And maybe even getting my kiddos involved in the process, too.  Like doing a brainstorm of things that are important to all of us, and what would we like to do before this summer ends.  And talking about if we could do anything, what would be so cool to plan on doing as a family next summer.  So I plan on doing this as a family.  Setting some time aside to have this brainstorming session to create the ultimate summer for next summer and having plenty of time to get that planned, as well as making the most of what time we have left of this summer and making this time memorable for them, for all of us as a family.

 

One thing that I’ve done recently is I’ve just kind of let some things go that I wouldn’t normally do, with this thought in the back of my mind that summer is nearing an end and I want to make the best of it and I want to create experiences with them that will be memorable for both them and for me.  So for example, the Olympics just started last week.  And the Olympics is something that has always been so magnetizing for me.  It’s so amazing to watch all of these countries come together from all over the world, many of whom we would not know even existed if it wasn’t for the Olympics, lets be honest.  And it’s so interesting to see all of the different cultures, the different color flags and their team uniforms.  And its so cool to watch the people of a country unite and just have that camaraderie with one another.  And to  watch the different sports you may never have watched otherwise, like fencing and archery, and as I do I wonder, how does one even get into a sport like that?  Like where does a person, for example, from where I live in northwest indiana, find fencing classes?

 

And I think the Olympics is such a great learning opportunity.  You could use the Olympics as an opportunity to learn about a different country, maybe one that you’ve never even heard of before.  Like for example when we were watching the opening ceremony of the Olympics and seeing the names of countries that I never even knew existed.  Like for me, and I might be outing myself here, but the country Seychelles.  Call me ignorant but I did not know anything about Seychelles.  

 

So I said to Lucia, hey you know I didn’t even know this country existed.  You know what we should do is every week we could pick a new country that we learned about from the Olympics and we could learn more about them, learn about what they eat, how they dress, and the things that they do every day.  

 

And then her eyes lit up with excitement and she expanded on that idea and she was like “mom, I have a great idea” and she’s like talking with her hands which she does when she’s really passionate about something. But she’s like “mom, every week we should have a different country theme.  So this week we should do China and you can cook Chinese food and we all have to eat Chinese food and then we have to dress in Chinese clothes. And then the next week we can do a different country”.  So she just took it to a whole nother level.

 

So I went with the food theme and I actually did incorporate some Chinese cuisine to the menu this past week, but we have yet to purchase and incorporate the attire.  But anyway, I thought that we could use these Olympic games as a way to really make this summer special and I feel like the Olympics serves to teach so many invaluable lessons.

 

So I will share with you guys the 3 valuable lessons that we are taking away from the Olympics and I was thinking that as I do you could maybe steal some of these ideas and use them in your home to make learning fun and I will share some Olympic themed activities I’ve done with the kids that maybe you will be inspired to try that I think your kids will love :

 

So first, we are using the Olympics as an opportunity to learn about other countries and cultures and to foster a sense of curiosity and inclusivity.  I want my kids to look at others who are different from them. And that's in every definition of the word, whether or not they think different, look different, whatever.  I want them to look at those who are different from them and not think that different is bad.  I want them to get curious and look at it as an opportunity to learn and see the world through a different lens.  And I want them to see that every human being on this planet is valuable, and everyone gets a seat at the table.   And the fact that we are all different actually makes the world that much more fun and interesting.

 

 But it is cool just learning about these different cultures and it’s so eye opening and you just see that, wow, this world, it is so vast.  It is so much bigger than the problems in our lives.  And don’t hear me wrong, I don’t want to sound like I’m invalidating anyone’s problems.  

 

But so many of our problems are self-created, and we can totally blow them out of proportion. We are all guilty of this, myself included.

 

 For example, just think about how your day has gone so far.  What was something that you considered a problem?  Was it that one of your kids told you “no” after you asked them to do something?  Maybe the traffic on your way to work made you arrive late.  Or maybe someone made a comment that you have been ruminating on and overanalyzing thinking, “what did they mean by that? And what did I say or do that made them say that, and then you replay in your mind how the whole situation played out.”  

 

Like if you zoom out, if you look at the big picture, these things don’t even matter.  We can be so narrow focused.  Right?  It’s only a problem, because we make it a problem.  We decide it is a problem.  

 

Take this hypothetical example of my kid telling me “no”.  I ask her to brush her teeth and she tells me “no”.  I then make it mean that she doesn’t respect me, and maybe this makes me angry and now I exert force over her by either restraining her and brushing her teeth for her or by using threats to take something away if she doesn’t listen.  

 

Now I just took that power struggle and we amplified it, making it worse, and while I was thinking “she doesn’t respect me” now I’m the one that isn’t respecting her, right.  

 

 So conversely, I could choose to get curious, kind of being a detective, and wonder why is she saying no?  Oh, maybe it’s because she is drawing, and shes really in the flow and she doesn’t want to stop brushing her teeth.  

 

I know what it’s like to be in the flow of doing something and get interrupted, it’s very frustrating and I don’t want to stop what I’m doing in those moments, either.  So how can I use this because it is really important to me that she brushes her teeth.  Well now I am in a more calm state of mind because I’m not thinking she doesn’t respect me.  And so I calmly say to her, hunny, I see that you are in the middle of drawing a picture, and what a beautiful picture it is.  AND it is really important to me that you brush your teeth because I love you and I care about your health.  And I know that in order to be healthy there are things that we need to do to take care of ourselves and one of those things is brushing our teeth twice a day.  And I know that if you don’t do this, you could get a cavity, and cavities hurt, and I don’t want you to get a cavity.  So when you are done drawing your picture can you please brush your teeth?  It’s just a much different end result between the two of us and one that I can feel so much better about myself in the way that I handle it.

 

Now I realize I kind of got off track there, I was talking about using the Olympics to learn about different cultures and just explore how big the world is and in learning about these different countries and the problems that they face, it can give us this perspective shift that we need to see that I dare to say most of our problems in the scheme of things, just don’t matter.  I was listening to an interview the Tennis Player, Novak Djokovic, who recently won the Gold Medal in the Olympics.  But he was talking about his childhood and how he grew up in Serbia and lived through 2 wars over the course of his childhood.  He said that he was fortunate enough to have not lost any family in the wars, however he had friends and knew people who had.  And he could remember having to wait in lines for hours to get bread and milk.  And then he went on to talk about the work that he is doing now with unicef and how recently he had been at this hotel, I can’t remember where he said it was, but this hotel was being used as a shelter for refugees who were fleeing Syria.  And he just talked about how he was playing with a couple of the kids there and their Mom came to pick them up and he got choked up just thinking about where they were going and what would come of them.  Like these people had to pick up everything and abandon their homes, their jobs, their lives so that they could get their family to safety.  This is the type of stuff we are just so fortunate, living in this country, that we don’t have to worry about.  When I think about the things I worry and complain about, it doesn’t even compare.  Like at least I have a bed to sleep in at night.  I have plenty of clothes for myself and my family.  Plenty of food and clean drinking water.  We have a roof over our heads and electricity.  And we can go to bed at night without the fear or being bombed.  So looking at the world from a broader view, it helps us put our problems into perspective and shift from a place of lack and scarcity to one of gratitude and abundance.

 

Moving onto the 2nd great lesson I am trying to impart on my children and myself through watching the Olympics is the importance of having a goal and then the work, the commitment, the discipline and consistency that is required to bring those goals to life.

 

Goals are so important because they give you a vision for your life.  They give you something to work towards and something to look forward to.  We all need something to look forward to, that keeps us going.  It helps keep us focused because it is so easy to get distracted and allow life to just pull us this way and that way.  But a goal is something that will keep you anchored in a storm.  When things threaten to distract you, you just come right back to the goal, like oh yeah thisis what im working on.  It helps prevent that self sabotaging behavior.  I feel like I always reference this, but it is worth repeating, my teacher Brooke Castillo always says that left unsupervised, our brains are like a toddler with a knife.  Very dangerous.  So many of us aren’t even aware of our very self-limiting and destructive thoughts that then lead to self limiting and self destructive behaviors.  So what a goal can help us do is give the brain something to stay focused on.  Our brains are designed to solve problems.  So if you don’t give it a problem to solve, it’s going to start creating problems to solve.  And it does this by conjuring up stories.  Did you ever notice this?  When you have a thought come up it seems like out of nowhere its like those very victimy self destructive thoughts like my life sucks and here are all of the reasons why. And then those are the glasses through which you view the world.  So now you’ve got the “my life sucks” glasses on and you can only see all of the reasons why your life sucks.  For example, maybe your husband comes home late from work, and because you’ve got your my life sucks glasses on you are only able to focus on all of the reasons why this is a problem.  You might jump to conclusions and think that he is stretching out his time at work because he wants to avoid coming home, or I don’t know worse you become suspicious and make up this story in your brain and wonder if he is having an affair.  So as the time goes by on the clock and he still isn’t home, you are busy conjuring up all of these stories in your head, obsessing about them.  And then you are feeling all of the feelings you would feel if those stories you were making up in your head were true, so now you are angry.  And this anger spills out onto your interactions with others, like you might be more short with your kids, and maybe something that wouldn’t normally bother you puts you over the edge.  Like say the kids are fighting and then you are already angry so you blow up on them and it just multiplies that angry energy in the home.  And then when your spouse finally does return home you flip out on him, and think about it, who would want to come home to that after a long day at work.  If you werent so busy creating stories in your brain maybe you would have put yourself in his shoes.  Maybe you would’ve asked him how his day was? Have you considered other reasons why he would be home late.  Maybe he was sitting in traffic.  And when you get home late from work do you want to come home to someone arguing with you and accusing you of things.  Not a good vibe right?

 

So rather, when you have a goal you are working towards, and I will venture to call it a healthy obsession, it doesn’t bother you that your spouse comes home late. It just doesn’t.  Your focus is else where, your brain has a healthy problem to solve so it doesn’t resort to creating unhealthy, irrational ones.

 

So the Olympics teaches us that look at the greatness that can be achieved when we have goals and then it shows us the qualities one must have to bring their goals to fruition.  Qualities like committed, consistent, persistent, relentless, resourceful, courageous, focused, and self-disciplined.

Its so eye opening and inspiring to see the capacity of human beings, to see what human beings are capable of when they are self disciplined enough and they put in the work.  And although it is quite obvious that these athletes are physically tough, I mean you look at these athletes and their muscles are just, they’re ripped.  

But what is even more difficult, and I think required, to get to the level these Olympic athletes are at, is developing the mental toughness.  

I don’t think you can get the physical strength and toughness without also developing the mental strength with it.  You need that mental toughness, that discipline, to put in the work even on the days when you don’t want to.  To do the training, to eat the right foods, to miss out on things like social events and activities because you are training or you need to get to bed early so that you can then wake up early the next day to train.  The mental toughness to keep going when you want to quit.  To be able to be on stage, knowing there are billions of people watching, and not be afraid to fail or make a mistake, or maybe they are afraid but they face their fears and they do it anyway.  

The mental toughness to be able to deal with other people’s criticism.  And let’s be honest, those critics out there, they don’t know the first thing about what it takes to perform at that level. Because the critics, they are just acting out their own fears and insecurities.  They see people living out their dream and it reminds them of the dreams they once had that were left abandoned.  They are reminded of how they never went after that dream or how they gave up on that dream, and they see someone else living out their dream and it hurts.  The critics are people who are just grieving the loss of their unmanifested dream, the dream they once had for their life is lost and they are just hurt.  And I think we’ve all heard the saying that hurt people hurt people.  And this is what the critics do.  So we can’t get all caught up in what the critics have to say, we can’t take it personal.  Because it’s not about us. Really, it’s not.  It’s about them and their pain.

And You know what all the greats and Olympic athletes have in common? They all have a coach. This is where having a coach can make a world of difference. Coaches provide that essential accountability that helps ensure you accomplish your goals. They hold the vision for you when doubt creeps in, and believe me, it will. That’s why I invite you to sign up for a free 30-minute coaching call with me. During this call, we can see if it’s a good fit. There’s no catch, it’s just 30 minutes, and it’s free. I promise I won’t make you feel like you’re being sold to. Let’s see if I can help you gain some clarity and kickstart your goals. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. So sign up now. There are limited spots available each week, so hop on my website Tanyavalentinecoaching.com and click on work with me or click on the link where you are listening to this podcast right now and it will take you to a page that says “what is coaching?” At the top. Scroll down a little bit and click on the book now button under “30 minute mini session” you will then be redirected to a calendar where you can select a time that works for you! 

 

3. So lastly, the 3rd thing I’m taking away from these Olympic games is the opportunity to connect and create themed activities and crafts with my kids.  And I have to admit, there are times when my kids will ask me to play with them and its just not enjoyable for me.  Like I want to enjoy it, but I just don’t, and then I feel guilty.  Like for example, playing Barbies.  I freaking hate playing Barbies, which is funny to say becuase I loved Barbies when I was a kid.  And I often think about myself as a kid and what she would think about me now.  I often think she would be like “what happened to you?  You mean to tell me you would rather clean the house then play Barbies? Like what the heck?” 

 

Anyways, so I love activities that I can do with my kids that I actually genuinely enjoy.  So these Olympic games served as excellent inspiration for fun activities the whole family could enjoy.

 

So recently we actually made these really cute Olympic ring glasses.  And I posted a picture of them wearing their glasses on fb and IG but I’ll also be sure to post a picture in the show notes.  But essentially what we did was took a pair of cheap sunglasses and removed the lenses.  Then we cut out colored cardstock into the olympic colored rings so green, yellow, red, black and blue.  And then, using a glue gun, we glued the rings onto the frame of the glasses.  Now I would have rather have used foam paper for the rings because it is more sturdy, but for convenient sake we went to Target for our supplies and they did not have foam paper.  So cardstock it was.  But if you want to try this at home I recommend using foam paper instead.

 

So another thing that we did that the kids absolutely loved, and so did I because I love games and competition and any type of physical activity, is that we had our own little backyard Olympic games.  So one of the things that we did was an egg race.  So I’m sure you have seen or heard of this before where you have to balance an egg on a spoon while you race to a finish line.  Now you could boil the egg if you don’t want a mess, but I didn’t.  And I was actually surprised at how durable these eggs were because the kids had to drop them quite a few times before they actually broke.  Mind you, we were on grass, so I think if we had been on the driveway it would have been a different story.  But the kids had a ball doing this.

 

And next up I set up like an obstacle course sort of thing for them.  So I set up stations that they had to complete one at a time, and all the while I was timing them.  And then the object was that whoever had the best, fastest time would win.  So the first thing they had to do was run around one of the trees we have in our yard.  Next I set up a cornhole station where they threw bean bags into holes and they had to get all of the bean bags in before moving onto the next station which was a little kiddie slide.  After that was one of those little basketball hoops, and they had to get 3 basketballs in before moving onto the last station which was a soccer net.  And here they had to kick 3 soccer balls into the net and that completed the course.  The kids had so much fun and they wanted to do it over and over and over again.  And I actually even did the course and had Lucia time me, and not to toot my own horn but I did get the best time.  I mean I was competing against a 6 and 4 year old but nevertheless!  It was a good time!  And at the end of the day it was so cute Lucia said “mommy this was the best day of my life!” And that just made my heart melt.

 

Then the last thing we did that I’ll mention that was Olympic inspired was we made an Olympic themed party mix.  It was so easy, and I did find the recipe on Pinterest and if you are interested I’ll link it in the show notes.  But anyways it was so, so easy and oh so delicious.  Although, I will warn you it is addicting.  So basically you get chex cereal, cheerios, pretzel snaps and peanuts and you dump all these ingredients in a bowl.  And then you melt a vanilla flavored candy coating which you then pour in the bowl on top of all the other ingredients and you mix it will to make sure everything is covered.  Then you lay this all out on a wax paper lined cookie sheet and sprinkle red white and blue m and ms and red white and blue sprinkles on top. And then you just let everything cool and dry.  And that’s it.  It’s so quick.  No washing or cutting or baking in the oven.  It’s definitely not a healthy snack, but it’s fun, and easy and it tastes sooo good.

 

Well that’s a wrap friends! Thank you for joining me today on the Mom-entum Podcast! I hope these ideas inspire you to make the most of your summer with your kids and create lasting memories together. Remember, it’s the simple moments and activities that often have the biggest impact on our children. Embrace the opportunities to learn, grow, and connect with your family.

 

As always, I love hearing from you. If you have any feedback, ideas, or stories to share, please reach out to me. And if you enjoyed this episode, please consider leaving a review or sharing it with a friend. 

 

Until next time, savor these precious moments, stay curious, and keep building the momentum in your life and the lives of those you love.

 

I’m Tanya Valentine, and this has been another episode of the Mom-entum Podcast. Have a great day!